There is a time for departure even when there’s no certain place to go.

You can't make a heart love somebody, You can tell it what to do but it won't listen at all. You can't make a heart love somebody. You can lead a heart to love but you can't make it fall.

This I now realize. I have tried to make you fall for me. Pretended to be someone that I am not maybe once or twice. Maybe I have tried too hard, or perhaps there just wasn't any hope to begin with. I realize now that I can't make you love me, no matter how hard or how long I may try, it isn't going to happen. I realize now that you don't love me, and I also realize that although I sometimes believe that I have wasted my time, that truthfully, I haven't, not at all. I have gained knowledge and experience through this somewhat trying period of my life. And I have you to thank for that. Thank you. My heart is fine, as I am sure yours is too. I must be a lot to handle. My obsessive nature. Oh well. That is who I am, and I am not obsessive, just persistent. I don't give up easily, but now, I must. Because everyone is telling me to give you up and let you go. And I am going to listen. Because, for once, I am going to take the more traveled road. I am not going to stray from the obvious thing to do. My life will get easier, and, I am positive that I will meet someone that loves me as much as I love him. This is what I have to do Dave, and this really hurts me because my entire being wants you, but I can't have you. You have made that quite clear. I have been ignoring it, but now I am looking the truth right in the face. I want perfection, and that, in my eyes, was you and is you. But, perhaps, perfection comes in pairs. Perhaps, maybe there is someone out there for me. and when I find him, I will be even happier than the way you make me feel. Because, I sure do know, that every time I hear your voice and every time I see your face, my heart beats faster than ever before and I am in ecstasy when I am with you. It is the highest high. And I have loved every moment of it. But, maybe there is someone that will make me happy, even when they aren't with me. Because I will be able to look forward to their phone call or seeing them. And then I won't cry myself to sleep, and I won't be utterly disappointed when I don't hear from you. You ultimately make me the happiest and the saddest person at the exact same time. And, before meeting you, I didn't think that was possible. It is. Ah, I love you Dave, so much that I am letting go of you. And, certainly, for longer than I ever wanted. .


Speed 9/2005