Tita Reng 72

It's Tita Reng's Birthday! Tita Reng, the sister of my grandmother, whom I call Nanay, is the greatest woman on earth. I love and adore her, and today, she turns 72. She has taken care of me for as long as I can remember. she is my inspiration to do well in life, aside from Nanay, Te Ely, and my mother. She has no children, and has dedicated her life to rasing me and my brother -- under no conditions. i have never seen such unconditional love as how my Tita Reng has showered us. I love you Tita Reng and I will forever be grateful to God for having you.

I've been out for awhile because I came down with a terrible fever that lasted a week. This kind of fever has never occurred to me, and not a single body was there to help me go thru it. I was stuck in my room for a week, with no one but my Jonas to talk and console me. My father, who i understand is busy at work, did not bother even once to come up to my room to take a peak on me, if i was still alive. My stepmom, Judith, who I despise but occasionally get along with, came up twice and offered green tea. My mom called a couple of times and wanted to bring me to the hospital, but I had no strength even to travel there. My brother was in the Philippines, having the time of his life -- which he so deserves after a year of working so hard.

I will be leaving in a while for the gym to try to regain my enthusiasm on working out. 15 minutes, and i should be out of the house.

The lessons i learned for the past days are:

• Believe in the power of God. There are millions of ordeals that will pass our lives and we may never understand their benefits. Just know that God is at work and to not question the trials. Let us just believe that it is ultimately for the good of us.
• We may have all been hurt by love, but never give up on it. I, like so many other, was on the verge of doing so, and truly unexpectedly, God blessed me with my greatest love. I have never felt more loved, felt more needed.
• Marriage is a vow for eternity. The line 'for better or for worse' hit upon me this week so strongly. for worse, meaning whatever may happen -- infidelity, paralysis, death, lifetime stroke -- you have to be there for your husband. to support him and care for him no matter how he can no longer do the same towards you. Marriage is giving unconditional love. It means friendship and compatibilty intertwined with love. Many a couple enter marriages and find themselves undergoing divorce.. I believe it is not that they have not loved from the beginning, but rather, their management of their relationship has failed, and both had given up fixing it.

Gambas

Today, i learned how to make gambas. turned out yummy too.

My peter and i are getting stronger. couple of stumbles, but those made us unite even more. i cannot ask more from jesus. he does not give up. he is, without doubt, my world.

I continue to have a hard time with my father. He's paying for my toefl, and that pisses him off much. And i think to myself, i am 21. i am his daughter. never drank, never did drugs. i am not the smartest kid he knows, nor am i with any spectacular talent, but he looks at me all the same like he is ashamed i am his daughter.

i wish he would think, what if i was the one ashamed of him before? when he was just starting out here in US..

i have a deep regard for my father. and i hope i feel his love soon.

All Well

After four of the most terrible days my health has encountered.. finally, i am recovered. Yes, on the fifth day, i arise.

This blog will basically sum upp the lessons i've learned in a day's event. some side stories may come up, mind you, but overall, my objective is such.

For this day, i learned

• That no matter how you wish an assaulter would make mends (Papa), some really might never do. So best to approach than perish.
• A long-time ex (Jonas) you thought you would never get back with might find its way back inside your heart. And you will let him in.
• When you think you've reached a plateau in weight loss, get sick for 4 days - you're in for a 7 lb loss.
• Your father is forever scrutinizing where your future is heading.
• I will be needing $40,000 for down & closing payment for a NY co-op. I certainly hope to achieve my dream of acquiring my own pad by 25.
• Indeed, asa huli and pagsisi. Always.

With hope for a pleasant tomorrow,

debs