Yeah baby
Monday, March 07, 2005
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Fearless
I've realized that I can sum up my entire life with the statement of two very simple facts. And when presented together, they are so ironically juxtaposed that they are either sickening or hysterical. They are proof positive -- as if proof were needed -- that my life is nothing more than somebody's cruel joke.
Fact #1: I am fearless.
Fact #2: I am always running away.
There you have it: the sum total of my existence, Debbie dela Cruz in a hermetically sealed nutshell. Pathetic, isn't it? A fearless girl who runs away? It's on par with being a stunningly beautiful girl who has to wear a paper bag over her head or an investment-banking billionaire who lives in a trailer park.
But let's be clear here. True, I can't feel fear. This is not the same thing as being brave, however. It's not like I see myself in some Roman epic, weighed down with a hundred pounds of armor, taking on fifty lions or re-creating a glorious battle. I'm no gladiator. Gladiators were brave. Because being brave necessarily means being able to experience fear and then being able to overcome it.
But then, that's my problem, isn't it? I'm not just fearless. I'm "braveless," too.
At the very least, you'd think this little fluke in my genetics would enable me to stay in one place for a while. If I'm not afraid of anything, why the hell should I ever have to run away, right? To that end, fearlessness shouldn't prevent me from making a true friend, either. Or actually keeping a true friend. Or falling in love and staying in love. I should be able to stand my ground. I should be able to face every single crisis and tragedy in my life with complete confidence.
Running away is for weak-minded cowards.
I tell myself these things. And then I tell myself: bullshit.
Because when you get right down to it, going on the run isn't about fear or bravery. It's about the one principle that applies to every creature on this planet -- from the bravest lion to the lowest forms of life, like my father or cockroaches: survival. Self-protection and self-preservation. Even the most fearless animals have a survival instinct. It's what enables them to perpetuate their species. To multiply.
And I can't be any different.
Although I have to be honest: I don't really see myself multiplying in the future. In fact, I'd say the odds of my extinction are increasing by the hour.
Fact #1: I am fearless.
Fact #2: I am always running away.
There you have it: the sum total of my existence, Debbie dela Cruz in a hermetically sealed nutshell. Pathetic, isn't it? A fearless girl who runs away? It's on par with being a stunningly beautiful girl who has to wear a paper bag over her head or an investment-banking billionaire who lives in a trailer park.
But let's be clear here. True, I can't feel fear. This is not the same thing as being brave, however. It's not like I see myself in some Roman epic, weighed down with a hundred pounds of armor, taking on fifty lions or re-creating a glorious battle. I'm no gladiator. Gladiators were brave. Because being brave necessarily means being able to experience fear and then being able to overcome it.
But then, that's my problem, isn't it? I'm not just fearless. I'm "braveless," too.
At the very least, you'd think this little fluke in my genetics would enable me to stay in one place for a while. If I'm not afraid of anything, why the hell should I ever have to run away, right? To that end, fearlessness shouldn't prevent me from making a true friend, either. Or actually keeping a true friend. Or falling in love and staying in love. I should be able to stand my ground. I should be able to face every single crisis and tragedy in my life with complete confidence.
Running away is for weak-minded cowards.
I tell myself these things. And then I tell myself: bullshit.
Because when you get right down to it, going on the run isn't about fear or bravery. It's about the one principle that applies to every creature on this planet -- from the bravest lion to the lowest forms of life, like my father or cockroaches: survival. Self-protection and self-preservation. Even the most fearless animals have a survival instinct. It's what enables them to perpetuate their species. To multiply.
And I can't be any different.
Although I have to be honest: I don't really see myself multiplying in the future. In fact, I'd say the odds of my extinction are increasing by the hour.
just how significant is love in a mortal's life?
Isnt love the most precious emotion of a human being? They say we all need love like we need water to live.
Proverbs 5: 18 Be happy with the wife you married when you were young. 19She is beautiful and graceful, just like a deer; you should be attracted to her and stay deeply in love. (CEV)
1 Corinthians 13: 4 Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud, or 5rude. Love isn't selfish or quick tempered. It doesn't keep a record of wrongs that others do. 6Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil. 7Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. 8Love never fails! (CEV)
Colossians 3: 8.... You must quit being angry, hateful, and evil. You must no longer say insulting or cruel things about others.... 12God loves you and has chosen you as his own special people. So be gentle, kind, humble, meek, and patient.... 15Each one of you is part of the body of Christ, and you were chosen to live together in peace. So let the peace that comes from Christ control your thoughts. And be grateful.... (CEV)
1 Peter 3: 4Be beautiful in your heart by being gentle and quiet. This kind of beauty will last, and God considers it very special.... 9Don't be hateful and insult people just because they are hateful and insult you. Instead, treat everyone with kindness. You are God's chosen ones.... Ephesians 4:2Always be humble and gentle. Patiently put up with each other and love each other. (CEV)
Mark 7: 21 Out of your heart come evil thoughts, vulgar deeds, stealing, murder, 22unfaithfulness in marriage, greed, meanness, deceit, indecency, envy, insults, pride, and foolishness. (CEV)
Proverbs 17: 9 You will keep your friends if you forgive them, but you will lose your friends if you keep talking about what they did wrong. (CEV)
Romans 14: 1 Welcome all the LORD'S followers, even those whose faith is weak. Don't criticize them for having beliefs that are different from yours.... 3But you should not criticize others for eating or for not eating. After all, God welcomes everyone. 4 What right do you have to criticize someone else's servants? Only their Lord can decide if they are doing right, and the Lord will make sure that they do right. John 7: 24 Don't judge by appearances. Judge by what is right. James 5: 9 Don't grumble about each other or you will be judged, and the judge is right outside the door. (CEV)
Isnt love the most precious emotion of a human being? They say we all need love like we need water to live.
Proverbs 5: 18 Be happy with the wife you married when you were young. 19She is beautiful and graceful, just like a deer; you should be attracted to her and stay deeply in love. (CEV)
1 Corinthians 13: 4 Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud, or 5rude. Love isn't selfish or quick tempered. It doesn't keep a record of wrongs that others do. 6Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil. 7Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. 8Love never fails! (CEV)
Colossians 3: 8.... You must quit being angry, hateful, and evil. You must no longer say insulting or cruel things about others.... 12God loves you and has chosen you as his own special people. So be gentle, kind, humble, meek, and patient.... 15Each one of you is part of the body of Christ, and you were chosen to live together in peace. So let the peace that comes from Christ control your thoughts. And be grateful.... (CEV)
1 Peter 3: 4Be beautiful in your heart by being gentle and quiet. This kind of beauty will last, and God considers it very special.... 9Don't be hateful and insult people just because they are hateful and insult you. Instead, treat everyone with kindness. You are God's chosen ones.... Ephesians 4:2Always be humble and gentle. Patiently put up with each other and love each other. (CEV)
Mark 7: 21 Out of your heart come evil thoughts, vulgar deeds, stealing, murder, 22unfaithfulness in marriage, greed, meanness, deceit, indecency, envy, insults, pride, and foolishness. (CEV)
Proverbs 17: 9 You will keep your friends if you forgive them, but you will lose your friends if you keep talking about what they did wrong. (CEV)
Romans 14: 1 Welcome all the LORD'S followers, even those whose faith is weak. Don't criticize them for having beliefs that are different from yours.... 3But you should not criticize others for eating or for not eating. After all, God welcomes everyone. 4 What right do you have to criticize someone else's servants? Only their Lord can decide if they are doing right, and the Lord will make sure that they do right. John 7: 24 Don't judge by appearances. Judge by what is right. James 5: 9 Don't grumble about each other or you will be judged, and the judge is right outside the door. (CEV)
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
I will watch you in the darkness, show you love will see you through. When the bad dreams wake you crying I'll show you all love can do.
I will watch by the night, hold you in my arms, give you dreams where no one will be. I will watch through the dark till the morning comes for the lights will take you through the night to see
I will guard you with my bright wings, stay till your heart learns to see all love can be
I will watch by the night, hold you in my arms, give you dreams where no one will be. I will watch through the dark till the morning comes for the lights will take you through the night to see
I will guard you with my bright wings, stay till your heart learns to see all love can be
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